does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
