Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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