Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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