In the future we'll all be gay
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
