Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
His hands were made for my vagina.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize