she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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