speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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