are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
