i don't plan on having that self control this summer
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
