How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
one might say we're banned from that church
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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