There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
