Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
