took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
