mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
