She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
