the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
