I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Bring me that man meat
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
