I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
