My first STD was from a foam party
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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