so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
