i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Fuck appropriateness.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
