I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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