yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
