I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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