Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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