my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
