Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
