He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize