I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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