It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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