it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
