He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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