watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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