i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he puts the penis in happiness.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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