I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
and she was petting her beer can
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
