"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
