well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
