And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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