I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize