just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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