He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My cat gives me a boner
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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