having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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