If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You ruined the universe
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
