so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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