happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
operation have a gay friend backfired
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he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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