I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize