She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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