Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize