Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
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He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize