You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
