Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
BRING THE BAGELS
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
