Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
