what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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