You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
