Where are you?
In a non slutty way
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
