no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
