So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
