Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
