How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
