Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
